


a couple of idiots

by jsunny



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Haikyuu!! AU Week, M/M, Mutual Pining, i dont even know yall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 16:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3699704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jsunny/pseuds/jsunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>kuroo and daichi meet by chance at a coffee shop, fall in like at first sight, skirt around each other like middle schoolers, exasperate their friends, and get together at the end, with help. they're perfect for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a couple of idiots

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is for [haikyuu!! au week](http://haikyuuauweek.tumblr.com) day one: coffee shop au. im a big sucker for coffee shop aus and i'm an even bigger sucker for kurodai and i was on a car for six hours today, so here you go! btw [hanna hananapeel](http://archiveofourown.org/users/hananapeel) owns my soul ty for being an excellent friend & an excellent beta.  
> also, everyone is in the same year ha ha oops

Lunchtime found Kuroo outside his usual coffee shop, half-dead and trying to pep-talk himself into a state of lucidity.

Kuroo was a regular at the coffee shop where Kenma works, but he usually stopped by before his morning class, not during lunch, like he was doing now. He had been running late that day, due to a longer-than-planned movie marathon with Bokuto the night before, and figured he’d probably just skip his coffee for that day. However, after drifting through the morning in varying levels of consciousness, he finally gave in to his body’s plea for help. _Lucky that my bedhead’s uncontrollable anyway_ , he thought, running a hand through his hair.

Despite his semi-normal appearance, by the time he staggered through the front door of _Ready Set Joe_ , he was half asleep and about to keel over.

Accidentally letting the door slam behind him, he saw Kenma working the register, a sight for his sore, bloodshot eyes. “Kenma, make me my usual order, I’m, like, half an hour from dying here, help your old friend out in his time of need, I’m seriously gonna collapse or something.”

Kenma acknowledged him, but mostly ignored his dramatic cry for attention. “You’re late today, did something happen?”

Kuroo smiled. “Okay, so me and Bo had movie night yesterday, right, but it ran kind of late because we watched Lion King, and then Bokuto wanted to watch Lion King II, but then I was like, yo, dude, you can’t watch Lion King and Lion King II without watching Lion King 1½, am I right or am I right here, Kenma?” Kenma nodded, and Kuroo continued. “Right, because, I mean, Timon and Pumbaa are basically the best characters in the whole series, besides Simba I guess because Simba is a lion and he is fucking awesome, I mean, I’m so proud of him, he’s, like, my fucking son.” He paused to hand over his money and take a breath, and Kenma set his drink down. “Anyway, so we just had to watch Lion King 1½ because Timon’s backstory is just so touching, like, with his family and how he got bullied and like, when he says...” Here Kuroo broke out his best Timon impression, adding arm gestures and looking around and all, and that was when he noticed someone sitting at the counter a few feet away with his hand over his mouth, trying very hard not to laugh.

And now Kuroo is blushing, not because he just talked very loudly about the Lion King trilogy for two and a half minutes – he will never be ashamed of his Lion King love – but because fuck him if this boy’s smile wasn't the cutest thing he’d ever seen. He idly wondered if this guy was a regular.

***

Daichi was standing in front of the coffee shop for the second day in a row. Yeah, he’d been there a few times before, but he wasn’t a regular or anything – he was honestly not really a coffee person at all, and had only come the day before to ask Suga for his notes from their freshman math seminar. He’d gotten a bit sidetracked chatting with Suga, and had sat down to talk for a while, when some handsome douchebag-looking guy had come in, letting the door slam behind him, and started talking loudly to one of the quieter baristas, as though he’d known him for years. Daichi had figured he was probably just some smug asshole who thought everyone would just fall all over him. But then the quiet guy – Kenma, as Suga had told him once or twice – had started talking back, and Daichi’d realized they probably actually had known each other for years, and then Daichi was interested. This new development was definitely not in line with what he’d at first assumed – he’d talked to Kenma a few times, and he didn’t open up readily. Which was how Daichi had started listening in on their conversation, how he had found out that Handsome Douchebag was actually Handsome Giant Dork, and how Daichi now found himself thinking of what excuse to give Suga for being back at the shop today. _Hey, well, if he wasn’t a regular and doesn’t come back, then this’ll be the only time_ , he thought to himself.

Finally settling on an explanation, Daichi opened the door and walked in. No sign of the guy. Daichi was a third relieved and two thirds disappointed. He opened his mouth to give Suga his genius excuse – “It’s cold today, figured I’d get something warm to drink” – but Suga beat him to it.

“Why’d you stand outside for, like, two minutes?” He glanced up from the drink he was making. “Or maybe it was longer, you were already there when I noticed you.”

Daichi stuttered. “It’s cold out today – er, I – I was standing outside because I was thinking of... thinking of a hot drink to get myself, because it’s cold out today, yep.”

Suga lifted an eyebrow, and Daichi knew that Suga must have been suspicious, because he was remarkably perceptive when it came to his best friend of four years, and yet he couldn’t think of anything to say. Suga was probably about to press further when the door opened with its telltale jangle of bells, and Daichi turned around to telepathically thank this new customer.

Of course it was him. It just had to be That Boy, and Daichi whipped his head back around while Suga greeted him –  “Hey, Kuroo!” – and called for Kenma in the back.

Daichi could recognize an opportunity when it was presented to him. “Anyway, Suga, so I’ll have a hot chocolate, thanks.” He took a seat at the counter, in the same spot as the day before.

“So, Daichi,” Suga said, setting his drink down, “care to explain–”

Daichi coughed. “How’s your internship going?”  

Suga brightened immediately. Suga was studying to be a veterinarian, and he could talk about his internship at the local animal hospital for hours. Bless Suga’s animal-loving soul. Daichi was glad for his friend, honestly, but this also means he was off the hook for the moment about his reasons for being at the shop. For now, he was content to hear about Suga’s animals while watching Kuroo’s lips move as he talked.

***

Kenma was giving Kuroo a weird look. “Again, today? Don’t tell me you had two movie nights in a row?”

“Haha…” Kuroo laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair. He should have thought about what to tell Kenma before he decided to drop by at lunch again, but there was no way he could just let go of his experience the day before – what if that cute guy was a regular? – and lucky him, because ( _score_ ) here he was again today, but this meant that Kuroo would have to start coming at lunch every day, and Kenma was already suspicious of him, which brought him back to his current predicament.

“Um, I. I just wasn’t really that tired this morning, you know? I slept a little earlier. Yeah, that was my New Year’s resolution this year, sleep earlier, figured I’d better start, you know?”

Kenma gives him _the look_. “Kuroo, it’s November.”

“Better to start late than never at all, huh? Right?” He laughed. _Gotta keep it natural_. “Anyway, I’ll probably keep coming at lunch! Since I’m sleeping earlier.” To top it off, he flashed his winningest smile, which doesn’t work on Kenma, now that he thought about it, but it was still worth a shot, probably.

Kenma was still giving him a look, but it was a look that said he wouldn’t press further – for now. Kuroo quietly sighed in relief. There was no way he could hide his weird crush-thing from Kenma forever, but he’d bought himself at least a week, probably – a week to watch Cute Guy, whose name was Daichi, he’d overheard. For now, he settled in at the counter to keep Kenma company and watch the corners of Daichi’s eyes crinkle up when he laughed.

***

Every day, like clockwork, Daichi would come in a little before twelve, Kuroo, a little after; Kuroo left about twenty minutes later to get lunch, and Daichi left before 12:30 for volleyball practice. It had been more than a week at this point, and considering that the two of them were about as subtle as internet scams or high fashion or Oikawa, Suga was way past being suspicious and was now waiting for them to _just get together already_. But he wouldn’t meddle in Daichi’s love life unless given a very compelling reason – a kit kat bar, maybe, or a new cat. Akaashi, their supervisor, seemed to be in agreement – “It’s kind of sad and cute, but also good for business... or something, I don’t know. Seriously, they haven’t even talked?”

At one every day, after the pair of idiots left, Oikawa and Kageyama came in to take over their shifts. Honestly Suga was feeling increasingly relieved by the day – he loved Daichi, but a whole week and a half of dealing with him grasping for conversation topics and listening half-assedly while he watched Kuroo pretending not to watch him was sort of starting to wear on him. His relief was short-lived though – Oikawa had just come in with a look on his face that said he had either just killed a man, or that he had _gossip_ , and it was almost always about Suga. Being friends with Oikawa came with a price, Suga had found: the relinquishment of all dignity and privacy. He started getting his stuff together, ready to quickly greet Oikawa and Kageyama and then split, but –  

“Kenma-chaaaan!!” Huh, that was unexpected. Oikawa almost never had anything to say about Kenma – Oikawa wasn’t _actually_ an asshole, and never purposefully triggered Kenma’s anxiety. “So, did you and Kuro-chan have a fiii~ght?”

“Wh… what? Where did that come from?”

Oikawa’s shit-eating grin immediately turned into a frown. “Wait, really? I was sure that something had happened… Kuroo was acting like he didn’t know what I was talking about when I asked, so I figured I’d ask you, since you don’t usually lie.”

Kenma bristled a bit. “Kuroo’s just secretive and good at keeping a neutral expression, it’s not like he’s a compulsive liar or anything... Wait, but why did you even think that?”

The gears were already turning in Oikawa’s head as he spoke. “It’s just that Kuroo’s been falling asleep in our Intro to Gender Studies class every morning for the past, like, week and a half, so I figured that maybe you were mad at him and giving him decaf or something. But if there was no fight… then, what’s really going on?” Oikawa got an eerily tranquil, almost predatory smile on his face. Oh boy. Time to end this conversation – plotting Oikawa was not an Oikawa he wanted to deal with at the moment.

“Hey, Kenma, you ready to go?” Kenma, grateful, followed Suga away from the counter. It seemed that Kenma wasn’t ready to deal with this either.

They quickly escaped the _Ready Set_ , Oikawa’s singsong “ _I’ll find out eventually~!_ ” ringing in the background, Kageyama probably silently preparing himself for six hours with the resident drama queen.

Suga’s mind was racing as he pulled Kenma away from the coffee shop, who followed in silent understanding. Oikawa was shockingly perceptive and knew almost everyone in all of their friend circles; it was only a matter of time before he found out about this horrible mutual pining game their friends were playing and decided to do something about it, which could literally only end in disaster. Oikawa’s idea of matchmaking was shoving the unlucky pair in a locked broom closet for two hours.

A safe distance from the coffee shop and from Oikawa, Suga turned to Kenma. “Kuroo’s been acting weird, right? He’s usually a morning customer.”

Kenma nods. “Yeah… He told me he’d been sleeping more, but considering what Oikawa just said…”

“I think we both know what’s actually going on here, right?”

Kenma rubbed a piece of his hair between his fingers. “I can’t believe they haven’t even talked.”

“Kenma, Daichi literally doesn’t even like coffee.” Suga rolls his eyes. “He’s been coming here and letting hot chocolate get cold in his hands just to sit four feet from Kuroo and pine after his pretty face.”

Kenma chuckled. “Ah, I thought I hadn’t seen him much before…wait, but is Kuroo even attractive? He always looks like he’s just woken up, even more so now that he doesn’t get coffee until lunch.”

“Hm, I think maybe he’s got sort of a messy charm? Plus, he has nice bone structure. I can see a guy falling for him.”

Kenma shrugged. “I guess. Daichi looks like the reliable sort too, he might be good for Kuroo.”

Suga laughed. “Yeah, he’s dependable to a fault… Anyway though, they’re so stupidly smitten with each other, they really have to talk or something, because this is just getting ridiculous. I’m sure they’d click perfectly if they’d stop being, like, twelve about it.”

“Yeah…” Kenma closed his eyes. “But if Oikawa gets his hands on this…”

Suga shuddered. “You saw that look too?”

Kenma nodded.

An excited grin spread across Suga’s face. “I guess we’ll have to do something first, huh?”  

  
  


There wasn’t a plan or anything elaborate like that. The next day, when Daichi came in, Kuroo following soon after, Kenma simply introduced them.

“Hey Kuroo, this is Daichi... he’s my coworker Suga’s friend.”

Kuroo gaped. Did Kenma already know?

Suga chimed in, with a deceptively bright smile. “Yeah, this is Daichi! We figured we’d introduce you, since you’re always staring at each other like goddamn middle schoolers!”

Daichi almost threw his lukewarm hot chocolate. “W-wait, Suga, you –”

“Hold on, each other -?”

Kenma rolled his eyes. “Honestly, you’d think one of you would have noticed after this long.”

Suga laughed. “Yeah, you’re really not subtle at all. So just talk already. Daichi, you’re my best friend, but you’re driving me up a wall here.”

Daichi blushed and slowly turned towards Kuroo, who at least seemed to be reciprocating his sheepish expression. “Hey.. so…”

They spoke out at the same time.

“Please go out with me!” “I – I really like your face!”

Daichi stared for a bit, then burst out laughing, raising his hand to cover his mouth. ( _Fuck, that's cute,_ thought Kuroo.) “Oh my god, my face? You... I can’t believe I couldn’t talk to you for a whole week, that’s incredible.”

Kuroo grinned. “Week and four days, by my count. Well, we’re talking now, huh? Better to start late than never at all. Wise words from me, Kuroo Tetsurou.”

Daichi smiled. “Thank you for your wisdom. God, I can’t believe you really just said that... I’m Sawamura Daichi.”

And Kuroo’s smug look surfaced, that confident quirk of lips that Daichi had found so attractive that first day. “So, I hear you want me to go out with you?”

“Don’t get cocky, you huge nerd.”

“Oh yeah? You seemed pretty into me before, hmm?”

“Now that you’ve opened your mouth I see you for the loser you really are. In fact, I think I rescind my offer to date you.” Daichi tilted his head and smiled as they walked together out of the shop.

“Aw, really?” Kuroo faked a pout. “What if I take you to watch Lion King with me? Dude, I love that movie, I could probably recite the whole thing from memory, let me tell you...”

Suga and Kenma watched them leave.

“Ah, yeah. They’re perfect for each other.”

Kenma nodded his agreement. Maybe some peace, for a change.

 

( _Extra:_

 

“Suga-chan - SUGA! I’m telling you - STOP - THIS ISN’T FAIR -” Oikawa wriggled in Suga’s grip. “What, Kenma, you too??”

“Hey wait - why am I involved in this?” Iwaizumi was letting himself be led by Suga, with a mildly bewildered expression.

Kenma threw Oikawa an apathetic look while holding his legs. “Oikawa, we’re just saying that your methods are flawed. We got Kuroo and Daichi together by being normal people.”

Oikawa pouted. “I’m still bitter about that, you guys. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!”

“Oikawa, we know what would have happened if we’d told you.” Suga laughed. “This would have happened. The only thing this’ll accomplish is making two people incredibly uncomfortable.”

“But - this is so irrational, I didn’t even do anything!!” Oikawa whined. “Okay, just because one time I -”

“Oikawa, Bokuto needs, like, half a football field of moving space at all times, and Akaashi hates cramped spaces, they were literally the worst people you could have picked for this. We’re just giving you a taste of your own medicine,” Suga interjected.

Iwaizumi raised his voice, trying to be heard over Oikawa’s complaints. “I still don’t understand why you picked me for this!”

Suga smiled apologetically. “Sorry Iwaizumi-san, you get along the best with Oikawa and you don’t have any physical or mental aversion to it, so I guess you’re just collateral damage,” he said, finally pushing them into the broom closet.

Kenma closed the door. “Alright, two hours.”

 

Suga opened the door to find Oikawa and Iwaizumi making out. Passionately.

Kenma slammed the door closed, shocked into silence.

Suga laughed nervously. “I guess we’re just infallible matchmakers...?”

“Something like that, maybe…”)

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> this now has a companion fic written by hanna hananapeel called [cut the frappe](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3733528) which describes the events of the iwaoi broom closet and it is FUCKING EXCELLENT and you should read it!!!  
> it’s called ready set joe because all the setters work there and it's coffee. i told hanna to stop me from making the pun and she didn’t, so you can blame her.  
> i love oikawa, don’t get me wrong. but he also is totally a huge gossip and knows literally everyone and is smart as hell, and this makes him dangerous. very dangerous.  
> ahh i was afraid to write this fic because i love kurodai so much and am i capable of writing them??? they don’t actually interact that much in this i guess and it ended up being sort of also about kenma and suga being bros, which is also okay by me. next time i will write the tooth-rottingest kurodais you have ever seen.  
> i dont actually know anything about colleges or coffee shops i’m really sorry.  
> thanks so much for reading!! find me on tumblr i’m [queen-nico](http://queen-nico.tumblr.com) ^_^


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